Letting Go – Walking the Walk

Loss is one of the biggest causes of depression. Fear of loss, one of the biggest causes of anxiety. And yet the world we see, our circumstances and the people around us change and shift constantly, so we have to adapt and allow things to come, but also to go.

Flexibility in life is one of the keystones to mental health, and letting go fits right into that. I had occasion recently to test my own skills and ability in this area. I had to let go, but I didn’t want to, and more importantly, when the final moment came, I didn’t know how.

So I did my EFT tapping. I did the work I knew I needed to do. Using visualisation and self hypnosis, I set clear goals for where I wanted to go based on what I felt was aligned to my highest purpose and in line with that of all concerned. I did my meditation, I ate well and I kept up my exercise. And I waited for release.

But it didn’t come.

I have a wealth of therapy material available to me, so I dove straight into the ones that seemed most relevant. I talked to friends, who told me I was on the right path, but I knew the work had to come from me. I happened to be attending my Level 3 EFT training over one of these weekends and tapped on a lot of the issue as part of the exercises and got input from very experienced therapists. I worked and I worked, and things got a little easier, but not that much.

And then a video that I had seen many years ago, where Oprah Winfrey talks about Surrender came to me, and I watched it again. It fitted for me: I had everything in place, I was doing all the work, but I couldn’t do the last bit all by myself. I couldn’t take the last step.

Finally I went for a walk on the beach. A long one. As far West as I could go, into the wind. And as I walked I cried and I prayed for the strength that I didn’t have; the strength to let go, with grace, love and dignity. And I repeated that prayer walking into the wind again and again until it no longer had any meaning for me, until lost its intensity, and until I was spent saying it.

And as I reached the furthest Western point, I turned around, and started to walk back. The wind was behind me now and my was mind clearer. I was still in trouble, I was still bound up, but a space had started to appear where there wasn’t one before.

That evening I went for a swim, I planted bulbs in the garden and I tapped on the things that still came up for me. I can’t even say “I woke up the next morning”, because by the end of the evening, I knew that that final step had been taken for me: I was free.

To quote Oprah: “When you’ve worked as hard, and done as much and strived and tried and given and plead and bargained and hoped – surrender. When you have done all that you can do and there’s nothing left for you to do – give it up. Give it up to that thing that is greater than yourself and let it then become a part of the flow.”

I have no doubt at all that without EFT and without self-hypnosis and visualisation, the moment at which I would have been ready to ask for and accept release would have taken me a lot longer. But this is the work we can do for ourselves, and it’s valuable work. I am so grateful though that once my part was done, I knew to ‘give it up’, and it was then that I finally found the peace I had been seeking.

Love to you all.