Change is possible – here’s how

The exciting thing about being a therapist for a number of years now is how over time the methods, theories and techniques that I use begin to make more and more sense and with increased knowledge the mechanics of why they work becomes more obvious.

Before the age of 8 – the subconscious mind
If someone could sort out a problem by conscious thought and effort alone, they would have done it by now.  The fact is that what we are dealing with is programming that has been stored in the subconscious mind before the age of 8 and 95% of our mind is subconscious and running the show without us even being aware of it.  And that’s not our fault, it’s about survival! Until 8 years of age we are in a Theta brain wave, a hypnotic state meant to allow us to download the ways, rules and beliefs of our tribe so that we learn quickly how to survive within the environment we find ourselves in.

Old programming
Our original programming is great if we have supportive, reliable and loving mentors and parents, our download serves us well as a valuable resource throughout our life and can be relied on without too much amendment.

However many of us had caregivers or other adults who did not see us, validate our emotions, or worse may have been actively neglectful or abusive.  This results in a child not having a true sense of themselves as a separate, valued or valid entity with their own emotions as they were not seen or reflected adequately by their original caretakers.  This can then cause many self-sabotaging behaviours that can be incredibly frustrating in later life as they seem to recur no matter how much conscious effort goes into combating them.

Remember, this is not a blame game, because your old programming is not your fault and neither does it represent who you truly are at your core.  It was just software that was installed at a very young age to help us to cope with our environment and those close to us growing up.

Anxiety
An unsafe or unreliable primary relationship can lead to a child being on high alert almost constantly and needing to monitor the external world for clues in order to gage what reactions might be required from them to stay safe.  This floating anxiety does not leave us when we grow up and can be felt running in the background even long after we have left the environments that did not feel safe for us.

Reprogramming
If something is subconscious it feels like normality to us – even if it leads us to suffer! And the mind is attracted to what is familiar – it’s kept us alive for this long. Possibly though, as we grow older, not thriving. Our previous programming is not our fault but if it is causing suffering in the present, it is our responsibility to begin the process of cleaning up what no longer serves us or those we love.

The good news is that you can access that programming through things like hypnotherapy, or even mindful meditation and begin to take an objective look at what has been quietly running the show for so long.  If something helped us to survive in the past but is now causing us suffering, it needs an update! And so gently, clearly casting a light on what is in the background, allowing the logic of what the mind was trying to do to help, to be seen and then re-installing helpful, up-to-date information on how things can run smoother for us and in a more supportive way can finally be reintroduced.

The tools for change
I use hypnotherapy and EFT primarily in my work and inevitably regress clients back to early, seeding memories that are the root cause of the troubles they are experiencing today. Hypnotherapy and regression may sound like scary terms, but they are not.  They are about diving into the unpleasant feeling of what is currently going on and using it as bridge to go back to where it originated so that it can be sorted out where it started. And as the saying goes, you can’t heal won’t you don’t feel.

Feeling the feelings
So often therapeutic work also involves allowing feelings from very old, painful events to be fully felt and acknowledged, and then let go. This is not analysis, it is simply acknowledgement. When we are young we may have not been able to fully register or understand what was going on for us. Or we may have been told not to feel how we felt or that we had no right to be upset.  These unprocessed events and emotions then stay with us, and can manifest as depression until we can reach back, acknowledge the pain or confusion that legitimately was held within them and then lay them to rest, and begin to move forward in an integrated and powerful manner.

Integration
In this way we begin to integrate our emotions and ourselves, past and present, so that we can walk in our present day with all pieces or ourselves felt, present and up-to-date.  And once we get our subconscious programme to be much more in line with our present day conscious intentions, then we become powerful creators of our present day and also of our futures. This is true mental, spiritual, and emotional health – this is the feeling of full integrity – an exciting place to be. And it is my aim for you as your therapist.

Please contact me if you would like to talk about arranging your own session.